pontmercyanide: some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me. and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.” she meant henry david thoreau. i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
ethiopienne: yeah boys are cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza
me: im so done
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
Sweet talk but don’t intimidate her.– Anthony Kiedis (via threadjunkie)
Mirror: you look cute today
Camera: lol no
Instagram filters: I got you
mareeps: remember back in like 5th grade when everyone vowed they would never do drugs
hitlervevo: sherwat: chrissykilljoybitchtits: inc-omparable: im-fandoomed: hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you Here in Canada you can Here in England we just… scream and run Here in Scotland...
omgtsn: artinfinitymusic17: janersm: sexting-inchurch: beautilation: banasmagiccastle: sarcasminc: arigoato: funny text posts arent my Puns like that could get you in give it a Yeah I think the joke might be falling This would probably be a lot funnier if I could read sheet music It’s no one else’s fault that you aren’t that HAHAHAHAHA this...
best-of-funny: jinn0uchi: dendropsyche: OKAY so i just saw the most ridiculous thing at the store today so we come across this thing and we discover you can turn it inside out and ITS HELLO KITTY I’M HSE’S EVEN GOT HER OWN LITTLE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK IM SO DONE why the fuck X
stfusexists: faineemae: queenofadodi: Men had no problem violating women’s bodies while they had on corsets, petticoats and farthingales, so what the fuck makes you think a short skirt has anything to do with it? Men also have no problem violating women’s bodies while they wear a niqab, hijab and burqa, some of the most covered form of clothing. So basically, what the fuck makes you think...
dooblerdoo: whenever I create a text post
At the end of Can’t Stop, whenever Anthony takes the last two deep breaths, I birth quadruplets. So far I’ve had 8,172,625,171,919,827,262,719,192 of his children
We gotta start teaching our daughters to be somebodies instead of somebody’s.– Kifah Shah (via avocadoghost)